the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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