Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
