How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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