In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My penis needs a shock collar
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
