How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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