Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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