just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
