Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
