They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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