Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
