So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
