Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I will pee on everything he values.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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