Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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