i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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