Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
