Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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