Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
