I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
