I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize