Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
