just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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