do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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