thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Bring me that man meat
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
