Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize