A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize