Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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