I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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