I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize