i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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