You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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