yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
