I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
