Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
