were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
