Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
