you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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