During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have post one night stand depression
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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