at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
