i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
