Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
