he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
