I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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