Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
