Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
