remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
