Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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