Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
