She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
