so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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