This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
