is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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