So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
