The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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