so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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