she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
