Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize