I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
