Well douche your snatch and let's go!
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize