I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
vagina is talking i cant
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
