his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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