We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
