had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize