discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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