thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
