For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
