paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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